| I'm ready to go to college. All of my college friends have already left and all of my high school friends are back in school. I'm excited for a new challenge and a new part of my life. I love the friends I have now but I'm excited to meet new people and get to start all over. I miss all of my friends especially Kyle but now that he's been away for a little bit I feel a lot better about everything, I really do think that we can make it work. I can't wait to decorate my dorm room and take new class's. I wish that I didn't have to wait until the 1st before I left. And I wish I didn't have mono...I feel okay but all I've been doing is sleeping and laying around the house, I'm kinda worried that once I get to school I'm going to get tired really easily. Only 9 more days!
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| I decided that I'm not going to college. I'll just take a year off and work. Then when I apply to college again I can go to Drury and ignore this Wartburg madness. It's a perfect plan. Now I just have to convince my parents of that. |
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| Midsummer is over. It still hasn't hit me that last night was the last time I will be acting as part of MTC. That it was probably the last time I will act in a show ever. Maybe later I will be sad, but right now everything feels very matter of fact, like now this chapter in my life is over and a new one is going to start. |
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| Midsummer's has made be come to several different realizations, some good some not so good. The main one being that I feel really ready to go to college. I've loved my time at Marquette but I just recently got to the point where I was like alright what else is there, I'm tired of the same routines, I want something different. I'm getting really excited about graduation. I can't wait to leave my house and head off to college. Don't get me wrong I'm going to miss everyone like crazy, and I wish that I wasn't going so far away, but I'm really excited to be "on my own."
During this show I've also come to regret a lot of decisions I've made. It's really hard to watch people that you consider as your friends completely leave you out of things. And it's even harder when you know that most of it is your fault because you rejected so many invitations in the past. I guess that's another reason I'm ready for college. I'm ready to start over, I'm ready to make new friends, real friends, friends that will always be there.
Finally I realized how much I compare myself to everyone else. After the first dress rehearsal I was upset because I felt like the fat ugly fairy. I don't know what is was about this show, but so many things kept on happening to make me feel bad about myself. Just little stupid things that shouldn't bother me, but it's crazy how much those little things can hurt. |
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| So it doesn't feel like the show opens tonight. I don't like opening on a weekend, it just feels weird. |
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